There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
