Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
