Pregnant stripper...not hot.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
