Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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