your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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