he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
