I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
