Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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