Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
