My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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