She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
