All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize