she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
