i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
