I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
