Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
