I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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