$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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