You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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