were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize