i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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