therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
