he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
4 words: hood of his car
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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