My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
