Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
