This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.