Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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