just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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