Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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