I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
