she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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