Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
