look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
