Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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