I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
