69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
