Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
