last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
