yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
