I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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