We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
