When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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