i barfeds in our rink
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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