North Korea, Best Korea!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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