you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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