she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
