i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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