Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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