I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Vodka?
Forever.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You were trust falling into bushes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
