i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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