Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
