I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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