My room smells like vodka and shame
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
