I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
