I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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