Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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