My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Welp...herpes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
