If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
