I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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