Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
