Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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