But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
