Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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