I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
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I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i now understand why vodka
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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